40: Shock

     Nathaniel slowly opened his eyes to find himself on the floor. Gabriella had blasted him off of her! His eyes traveled over to where she lay, still passed out.

     I'd forgotten she could do that, and she did it to me. Me!

     Well, I was attacking her. I'm determined to fight fate. She can't attack me again right now. Should I try again?

     He sat there and watched the love of his life as she slept in an almost comatose state, still sunned from what she'd done to him. He'd scared her every bit as much, maybe more, than August had done that day at her mother's house. August had only threatened to bite her then. Nate himself tried to change her outright.

 

     It doesn't take a psychic to know that she's gonna be extremely pissed when she wakes up. And I don't want to apologize either.

     Should I try again right now? he thought again as he rolled over onto his stomach to crawl over to her sleeping form.

    

    Gabriella awoke to see Nate leaning over her. Exhausted, she still found the strength to move quickly away from him.

     "Leave me alone!" she said as loudly as she could manage.

     "Or you'll do what? You can't stun me again so quickly." he pointed out sardonically.

     Terror coursed through Gabby along with adrenaline as she backed herself into the far corner of the room. Nathaniel blocked the room's exits. Her heart raced in her chest. The power it took to stun Nate the way she did plus the fact that Nate had partially drained her as well made her legs shake underneath her, threatening a collapse. She decided it would be prudent to just sit on the floor for now. Still, she had to find it in her to put up a fight if that would be what was needed.

 

     Only moments before, Nate had wanted to continue with his plan to turn Gabby against her will, but now, feeling the fear in her directed at him, her whole demeanor tore at his heart. She was really terrified of him!

     Gabriella watched as Nathaniel's shoulders slumped on his way to sit on the bedroom's small loveseat.

      

     What have I done? he thought as he sat with his head in his hands. He felt Gabriella watch him warily, still afraid and untrusting. After all, why should she trust me? Ever?

     "I'm sorry." he said lamely, knowing that wasn't enough.

     Gabby remained quiet and suspicious.

     "I crossed the line." he continued. "I won't try to stop you from leaving if that's what you want. I won't blame you if you never trust me again." Then his voice crept down to a whisper as he said, "I'm so sorry!"

     But where could I go? Gabriella thought as she got up on her knees, too exhausted to even speak. Is there anyone I can trust anymore? I used to trust my mother, but she's controlled by Gus now.

     She's leaving me, Nate thought sadly. She's going to leave me and I deserve it. He got up and walked out of the room.

    Gabby slowly walked over to the dresser to put on some warm, outdoor clothing, a stunned look on her face.

 

     As she continued to get dressed and pack a backpack to take some items, her heart ached. Tears coursed down her face as she thought, How could he do that to me? How can I ever trust him again? Knowing there was no point in trying to hide her intended destination, she thought, I'm going to the wolves to ask for help and shelter. That's one place where I can be safe ... from everyone.

 

     Nate stood at the bar and wished the spirits would get him drunk as fast as they did when he was human. But that's the whole point isn't it? I'm not human, but a monster. For a century I tried to convince myself I was good even though a vampire, but that simply isn't true. I tried to turn the woman I desperately love against her will for my own selfish agenda. If dying is what she'd prefer then why can't I accept that?

     Her time is limited, and I've made her want to spend the rest of it away from me, forcing her into the presence of my kind's worst enemy. He heard her plans to ask for sanctuary with the wolves and because she knew that was the one place he would be unable to get to her. She mentally asked him for Desi.

     "Take her." he mumbled into his glass, knowing she couldn't hear him. "Take it all." He refilled his emptied glass and said to the room at large, "Nothing matters anymore anyway."

     He heard the door open and saw Gabriella warily leave the room, a backpack in her hand.

    "You may have her. She'll be happier with you." he told her, also thinking how Reggie's heart would break as well. Well, they could just be lonely bachelors together. That is, until Gabriella dies and I end my own miserable existence. I'll bequeath Reggie to the pack so at least someone can be reunited with the one they love.

     Gabby stood and stared at him wordlessly, so he said, "I do not expect your forgiveness so I will not ask for it again. But please, if you ever need anything... anything... remember I'm only a thought away." He watched her face and the cold expression it wore.

     "Goodbye, Nathaniel." she said quietly before walking out the door, her heart breaking.

     When the door closed, Nate crumpled into a pathetic heap, the glass in his hand shattering as it too fell to the floor.

---------

     Gabby did not try to stem the flow of her tears as they ran down her face. She opened the stable door, and the horses' ears perked up at her approach.

     She spoke to Reggie first, "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, Reggie." Then she turned to Desi and said, "Desi, we're leaving." She got her favorite saddle and prepared the two of them for the relatively short journey.

     She knew traveling at night was dangerous, especially for her, but she had the attitude that if the vision was to somehow occur tonight, then there was nothing she could do about it.

     Desi nickered as Gabby led her outside into the cool night air. Gabriella turned around to look at the house once more. After about a second, Nate appeared at the kitchen window, looking back at her. She quickly averted her eyes before mounting her horse. Refusing to look back a second time, she kicked Desi into an easy canter.

     As she left the grounds, she could feel the protection that kept Gus away being lifted.

---------

     Wary now from what he felt Gabriella feel, Nate turned around and looked about him in a mildly paranoid way. The drink was finally working its magic, and that plus still feeling a little weary from being stunned, he felt ill-prepared for a fight.

     As he walked over to look out the front door, he heard the back one open behind him.    

     "You were right, my Marge!" he heard his maker say to the redhead behind him.

     "August." Nate said in shock as he watched the two of them walk in. Marge ever so slightly placed herself in front of Gus. The intent was clear -- he'd have to go through Marge to get to the older vampire.

     "Oh, don't act so surprised, Nathaniel." Gus drawled as Marge darted up the stairs and back in a blink, now holding a large red book in her hand.

     "She forgot it." Marge said in a shocked voice.

     "Excellent." Gus said with a smile. "However, you should have taught her better."

     Marge acted like she was about to say something, but about that time Nate yelled, "Get out!"

     Augustus laughed, his arms still folded casually. Furious now, Nate charged him.

     It all happened in a fraction of a second. As Nate came close, Marge shot out her hand and said a strange word just before sending him flying backwards and into the wall. Upside down now, he landed with a thud on his neck and shoulders.

     "Cool." she said as she stared at her hand in amazement.

     "I told you you'd get better." Gus said with encouragement. "Even after this short time. You'll be unstoppable when you get older." He leaned over and kissed her cheek affectionately. Marge just continued to look at her own hand in wonder.

     "What... the fuck... was that?" Nate asked as he worked on righting himself.

     August decided to answer for his Marge since she appeared distracted. "A handy little spell she discovered in something you left behind. I'm simply amazed at all you didn't take -- such interesting items..."

     "Like what?" Nate asked as calmly as he could manage while returning to a standing position.

     "Like something you want... or more like Derek wants, and Gabriella is going to try to take. The idiot is going to send her in alone, can you believe it? Well, not counting the easily-taken-care-of bitch."

     Nathaniel roared in fury and dove for him again. Once more, Marge sent him flying back. This time, however, his head smashed up the dining room table. 

     "You idiot." he heard Gus say just before he lost consciousness for the second time that night.

-------

     Gabriella was lost. She thought she could remember the way, but she must've taken a wrong turn somewhere on the many trails through the woods in the hills above town. She couldn't figure out what to do, and she felt exhausted from the evening's events.

     "Desi, do you remember the way?" she asked the horse before giving her free rein. Desi made what Gabriella could swear was a scoffing noise before heading back the way they came.

     Before they'd gone far, however, a chilling howl rent the air, giving her goosebumps and causing Desi to act skittish.

     "Somehow, I doubt that's Derek's crew." she said quietly as Desi side-stepped a little off of the path. She wished she could call on her ability to know for sure, but she was wiped.

     Suddenly, Desi panicked and reared before taking off like mad into the woods next to them. It was all Gabriella could do to hang on! What has gotten into her?

     Then she heard it. They were being chased by an angry snarling sound. Not Derek's crew, she affirmed to herself as she hugged herself closer to the horse.

     In a clearing, Desi came to a sudden halt and reared once more. Right in front of them stood two weres, transformed. Desi reared once again as she tried to turn around only to discover three more had joined them, and they were surrounded.

     "What do you want?!" Gabriella screamed with more strength than she thought she had. Nate, help! Help! Please help!

     "Good evening, Miss Hudson." the were with the long hair said calmly as he stepped around his brethren.

39: Not Dead Yet

     Nate stood in the doorway to the bedroom he now shared with Gabby, and his heart ached when he thought of the near future.
     That pack wanted her to fetch some ball for them. Huh, dogs want their toy. They should 'fetch' it themselves.

      He considered the danger they would place themselves in should they wind up retrieving the item. To deliberately place her in the path of his maker was unthinkable! The very idea infuriated and scared him. He couldn't help but feel that doing so would only encourage the actual happening of the vision.

     She should just let me go ahead and turn her. It's going to happen. Why can't I just do it now and we avoid the potential danger?

     He walked up to Gabriella and said as calmly as he could manage, "Gabby, just let me turn you. I'm afraid for you." He could immediately feel her mild anger as she thought her words before she said them.

     "So, kill me now?" she spat back at him. He worked very hard to keep from rolling his eyes. She continued, "Because that's what you'll do, you know. Even if it works -"

     "It will work."

     " - I'll still be dead."

     "So I'm dead? Is that what you're saying?" he sent back to her.

     She floundered around for a minute for something to say, but he could tell that that's what she thought.

     "You are. That's exactly what you think." he stated, hurt.

     "Nate .... " she said as she started towards him.

     "No." he said as he backed away.

     "But technically, you are."

     "Altered. I'm not dead. Yes, my regular life ended, but I'm not dead." he spoke with mild pain in his voice.

     "I don't wanna become a vampire."

     With a sense of desperation. he let the sudden anger get the better of him as he yelled, "The you'll die! You know I can't let that happen!"

     "I don't want to die! Neither do I want to be turned!" she nearly yelled back.

     "I'm sorry, but you have to choose one or the other! Scratch that -- you know I'm gonna try! Why does it have to be in such a terrifying moment? It's such a simple thing to do!"

     "Have you ever actually done it?" she asked, almost knowing the answer.

     Nate swallowed. "No. I've never wanted to do this to someone else."

     "Exactly!" she yelled. "And yet you're going to do it to me! Or, at least try to."

     He walked up to her and grasped her arms before he begged, "Please, Gabriella. Please don't leave it to fate. It would be so much easier if we picked the time and place."

     "That's how it's going to happen. I don't want to leave you, but I just can't stand the thought of becoming a vampire." Her face looked pained as she watched the hurt cross his face.

     "So, we're at an impasse, exactly as the vision portrays. You don't want it, but I do." A desperate look came into his eyes before he said, "You realize I could just overpower you and do it anyway."

     "Don't!" she cried, and her face showed her panic.

     "I just can't lose you again!" He clutched her to him as he continued, "Don't you know I love you now more than ever?" His fingers ran through her hair. "If you die, I'm going to just let the sun take me. I'm not living without you."

     "Nathaniel!"

     "I mean it, Gabriella." He stopped her protest with a kiss. However, she continued to berate him in her thoughts, but they had no effect on him.

     He kissed her down the column of her throat. "Let me do it." he insisted.

     "No." she whispered.

     "What if I'm too late to save you?"

     "I don't know. I just know I don't want it."

     "Why?"

     "It's a torturous existence, Nate. And to never again walk in the sun and enjoy the feel of its warmth? I don't want that." She froze as his teeth grazed her neck, simply dragging themselves across her skin.

     "Many people lead a torturous existence, Gabby. Being a vampire isn't the worst. The worst is living your life without the one you love when they've been taken from you. I don't know how I found the strength to go on last time. I just had this vague hope that now I understand I guess, but I can't do that again."

     Tears escaped her eyes as she remembered her dreams.

     He spoke of her thoughts, "That's exactly what I mean." He lovingly kissed the side of her face.

     "No, Nate." she reiterated.

     Panic again reigned supreme with her continued refusal. If she would just let me! I just don't understand it! Why doesn't she understand that we can avoid the danger in such a simple way?

     Gabriella again felt his teeth, but this time it was not a caress of sorts, it was a warning. "Don't!" she cried.

     "I'm sorry, my love, but I simply cannot lose you again." he said before sinking his teeth into the quickly-pulsing vein in her neck.

     Alarmed, Gabby tried to fight him off of her, but of course, her efforts were in vain. "Stop!" she wailed as she felt herself begin to weaken. "Nate, stop, please!" He refused to obey her request. He's going to kill me!

     "No!" she yelled as she felt for the second time in her life a wave of energy leave her body.

     It threw Nate back, off of her, and onto the floor. He was out cold, she noticed, as she herself could not stop from falling onto the carpet in exhaustion. Before she landed, she also lost consciousness.