17: Heavy-hearted to Lightheaded

Part One Finale

Warning: Adult language

 

 

Gabriella spent the day thinking of everything that had happened to her since meeting Nate, especially the things that happened this morning. She'd now promised Gus that she'd work on her gift. If she hadn't, he was going to kill Nate and turn her anyway. She couldn't bear the thought of him killing Nate.

She also was afraid of dying. Her sister's death had brought about a reincarnation of the idea that she should try and change the outcome of her visions. Her desperation for the vision to be false escalated as she watched them lay her sister into the earth. If she didn't do something, there existed a strong likelihood that she would be buried there next to her soon. She just couldn't take that chance.

But could she do this to Nate? Now that she knew she loved him could she set him free from this obligation he would have to be the one to decide her fate? She felt she brought him nothing but trouble. Surely he was happier before he met her, and she could get along fine without him, hopefully. She needed to stop the relationship before it got any further.

Now if only she could make her decision stop hurting her so damn bad she just might be able to set him free.

He was due any minute now.

"Hey." Gabriella said 'brilliantly' when Nate walked up to her front porch.

Nate happily took in the sight of Gabby in that top he liked seeing her in the other day.

"Hi." Nate answered just as brilliantly. He suddenly felt her bad mood, and he wondered why. He'd tuned her out successfully all day, and now he wished he hadn't. "What's wrong?"

She folded her arms, "You mean you don't know?"

"No, I tuned you out, remember? What happened between this morning and now?"

Gabriella fidgeted, not knowing how to respond to his question. Nathaniel got a sinking feeling he wasn't going to like it, whatever it was that she was trying not to think about yet wanted to tell him.

He crossed his arms in an unconscious effort to protect himself from hurt. No he thought suddenly don't go there again, please! Stop being so damn afraid! He hated the thoughts and emotions coming from her.

Gabriella thought of a way she might be able to explain her decision. "I just can't do this, Nate. I just can't. I can't help but wonder if I'd just told Caitlin anyway, she wouldn't be dead. The cosmic powers that be gave me this 'gift' for a reason, and I have to think it's to stop bad things from happening."

"And you being with me is a bad thing?" he asked, miraculously keeping his voice even and getting to the heart of the discussion.

"It's not you..."

"Oh no fucking way! Don't you dare say 'it's not you it's me'!" Nate snapped, furious now. What made him angriest was feeling Gabriella's heart break as well. "Why, Gabriella? Why?" he pleaded and stepped closer to her.

She backed towards the house warily, and her reaction hit him like a cat-o-nine.

"I'm going to work on my gift, but I'm getting Mom to help me. That still falls under the agreement I made early this morning." she said quietly.

"You forget one thing, however."

"What's that?" she asked, surprised at herself by how calm she seemed on the outside.

" 'Don't hurt him' meaning me. You're hurting me worse now than he ever could." he said as his chest rose and fell in agitation.

Gabriella's mouth dropped open. She hadn't expected Nate to react quite like this. She'd expected him to rant and rave. She most worried about an arduous assault; she didn't know if she'd be able to stand up to that.

She quickly brought the conversation back in the direction she needed it to go. "I don't want to die, Nathaniel. As much as it hurts me as well, I cannot allow this continue."

Gabriella stood there, watching him and wondering what he was going to say. He looked angry and hurt, and she didn't blame him.

"I tried to stay away from you before, Gabriella." he said and as he said her name, his voice betrayed him for a moment. "I couldn't do it."

"Yes, you could. I came to you, remember?" she said, referring to the night she'd met his horses. You're just stubborn enough to manage fine. And I couldn't stand the thought of you constantly feeling like you have to protect me. I don't want you to worry anymore. She could only think the last parts, she didn't trust her voice.

"Protect you? That reminds me." he said, deciding to talk about what had irritated him this morning since apparently he had nothing to lose.

He continued, "All that that I did for you this morning to keep him away from you and you just wave the white flag of surrender?"

"He was going to kill you, Nate." she said quietly.

His arms went up in an imploring gesture before returning to lightly slap down on his thighs. "What do you care?"

Don't say I don't care. You know that's not true.

"No." he said and trapped her against the house. She glared back at him suspiciously. "I don't. How can I?" He brought one hand over and caressed her cheek. "Don't do this."

She took a deep breath, pushing against him slightly. "I simply cannot allow the vision to happen." I wish I'd never had that damn vision and we could just be a regular couple, but we can't.

"Vision be damned, Gabriella. You're letting it rule you again. What does your heart tell you to do?" he pleaded with her.

"My heart is not making any damn sense." she said tersely and then lowered her gaze, looking anywhere but at him. "Please go." she whispered.

"Gabriella Hudson, you are the most infuriating woman on the planet!" he said harshly into her face before pushing off from her house. He stood in front of her for two seconds before he vanished.

Gabriella felt the air leave her lungs painfully. She'd done it. She'd done it, and she hated herself for it.

She locked her door and staggered up the stairs, angry at her tears. She didn't even want to voice how much she already missed him. She collapsed, fully clothed, on her bed and cried herself to sleep.

She awoke with a start, shaking from a nightmare. She was in a huge skirt and trying to run after Nate's retreating form, but the blasted skirt kept tripping her up. What time is it? She looked at her clock and realized she'd only slept for two hours. She shook her head and got out of bed, knowing she wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. So she went downstairs.

She walked into the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice. If only she had some vodka to mix with it. Maybe she should go get some. She quickly disregarded that idea when she realized it was too late for any place anywhere nearby to still be open. 

As she closed the fridge, another pang hit her unexpectedly. Damn it! How is she supposed to live like this? It'll get easier with time. That's what everyone says. She crouched down on her knees and bent over into a fetal position on the floor from the pain. The orange juice got thrown into the trash. I can't stand it, Nate. I was crazy. I miss you already. Vision be damned.

Her head popped up as she watched the doorknob on her front door get twisted off the door. She just remembered she'd never rescinded his invitation into her house. He was here. Shocked, she stood to her feet and saw him standing right in front of her.

"I guess you weren't tuning me out." she said quietly, her eyes wide with her continued shock.

"No. I couldn't. I didn't want to." he said as he walked towards her and pinned her against the counter top.

Her heart threatened to beat straight out of her chest as she looked at the expression in his eyes. Oh! But she was so happy he was here! Now if only he'd stop looking at her with that intense expression, she could relax.

"I missed you too." he whispered. He closely watched her features for any hint that she would try to somehow stop him from kissing her. He'd really had enough of not kissing her. Not in his whole life had he ever had so many occasions where a simple kiss could get interrupted. He felt determined to not let it happen this time, but still, he didn't want to brutely force himself on her either.

She's... practically terrified.

Nate groaned in frustration. He searched the depths of her pale blue eyes, looking for a way to get her to not be afraid. As he did, his hand moved around to the back of her neck and the other to rest lightly on her shoulder. Too intense. Too damn intense. His thumb traced her ear down to the jawline, and he watched as she tried and failed to stifle a shudder. There it is.

Gabriella gasped slightly as Nate leaned down to run his mouth where his thumb had just traveled. Only his mouth didn't stop at her jaw, but it continued to travel the length of it to her chin. She hadn't even realized she'd welcomingly tilted her head up to encourage him. He paused momentarily at the point of her chin and tentatively worked his way to her mouth. She became irritated with herself as she felt herself pull away. Nathaniel didn't act too disappointed, however, but leisurely made his way down the other side of her jaw instead. She outright shivered when his teeth lightly grazed her earlobe.

Nathaniel traveled down the slender column of her throat as his left arm wrapped itself securely around her waist. His right hand remained behind her neck as he worked his way along her collarbone to head back up the middle of her throat. Oh, but she smelled so good! He couldn't resist flicking out his tongue on the way back up to her chin, tasting her delicious skin.

Gabriella couldn't suppress the shiver than ran through her when his tongue had moved up her neck. He obstinately maintained his position on her chin, and the hand on the back of her neck kept her from pulling away again. She wasn't upset at all about this. She'd hated the initial reaction she'd had to pull away, and she sensed he knew this of course. Still, it felt like he was asking her permission as he lingered on the side of her mouth.

Nate could feel it - the infinitesimal yielding from her as she slightly turned her head in the direction of his kiss.

He tenderly touched her lips with his, wanting to preserve the moment. He could feel her gripping his shirt tightly as he lingered, moving only as much as was completely necessary, waiting for her to relax a little. She was trembling.

Gabby couldn't believe she couldn't stop shaking. She'd been kissed before, sure, but never with this much... this much...  tenderness, patience, and love. He acted like he had all of eternity to enjoy the feel of his mouth on hers, and she supposed he did. The idea overwhelmed her that he could feel this for her, making her lightheaded.

Nathaniel finally felt her relax a little, and he traced his thumb along her jawline to rest on her chin for a moment. Only for a moment, though, because then he lightly pressed down upon her jaw, causing her mouth to open for him. He moaned low in his throat as his tongue eagerly sought hers. He felt her slip in his arms, so he hauled her up to him, completely holding her now. Again and again, he kept going back to savor the sweet intoxicant of her mouth.

Suddenly, the mood of the kiss changed. Gabriella was locked in the gentle cage of his arms as he kissed her with more urgency, demanding more of a response from her. She felt she'd gladly reciprocate if only she could catch her breath, but he gave her no quarter. She whimpered meekly to his answering groan. It was a good thing he held her so tightly, or she'd be unable to remain upright. This didn't appear to bother him at all as he mercilessly asked more and more of her until she could no longer respond but merely accept the crazed ardor of his kiss. I can't catch my breath! she thought meekly before everything went dark.

The next thing she was aware of was Nate's smiling face looking down at her. He was grinning like a Cheshire cat, looking immensely pleased with himself. She couldn't help but smile a little back at him as she tried to glare and say, "You made me faint."

Impossibly, his grin got wider as she began to realize she was on his lap on her couch. He leaned down to nuzzle her cheek as he replied, "Guilty as charged, I'm afraid." When she tried to get up, he held her down gently and said, "Wait a minute. I had an idea I'd like to run by you."

She sighed and asked, "And what might that be?" She relaxed back against his arm.

"I cannot order August away." he said.

"Yes, I guessed as much." she responded sadly.

"But you can." he said with a secret smile. He sat her back up and looked down at her. To her confused expression, he continued, "Move in with me."

"What?"

"Then it will be your residence as well, and you can order him out." he grinned again, pleased with himself.

Move in?!? With Don Juan here?!?

He laughed heartily as he listened to her thoughts.

"Get out of my head." she grumbled to his ridiculously huge grin.

"Say you will." he requested in a more serious voice. "I want you to. Please. My house has four bedrooms. You can take your pick."

Like that would stop you. She bit her lip and considered her answer, trying not to look at the loving smile in his eyes.

Nate decided to not answer her thought at all because he knew that although he might try, he knew that having her around and under the same roof as him he'd not be able to keep himself from her for long. He still hoped she'd say yes, though, even with her apprehension.

He reached up a hand to run through her hair as he watched her face. "It worries me that you're here all alone." He watched as she closed her eyes as he continued his gentle ministrations, and he felt nearly consumed by the desire to kiss her senseless again. He temporarily resisted that urge to ask, "What do you have here that you couldn't have at my house? We could turn the entire upstairs into a separate space for you if that's what you need."

Gabriella nodded her head the tiniest bit, but Nate couldn't tell it was a 'yes' because her head would also move slightly with each gentle tug of his fingers. So, she audibly replied. "Okay." His fingers stopped mid-stroke, and she peeped her eyes open at him to take in the ridiculously huge grin he wore. She couldn't help but start laughing. At him, at her, at the thrill of kicking Gus to the curb, at how happy she was, how happy he was, how she couldn't believe she'd almost ruined everything.

Nate brought her laughter to his lips as he gleefully worked on making up for all those botched opportunities he'd lost on previous occasions when he'd tried to kiss her.

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That's that for part one! Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you stay with me for all the rest I have planned!

Also, I'm SO GLAD to finally get to stop taking shots in Gabriella's very boring house!